“God hates divorce!”
Christian wives frequently hear this first part of Malachi 2:16 as though the institution of marriage trumps the lives wrapped up in it. Rarely quoted is the second part of the verse which says:
“along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances.”
Christian wives often think they have only two options: endure abuse or face condemnation by God for not obeying the Bible. As a result, guilt, despair, internal conflict and heartache cloak every moment as they cling to survival, trying to please both God and their husband.
The future looks hopeless, and their identity and value obscured. Children grow up as secondary victims of domestic abuse, desensitized to God’s ways and primed to continue the cycle of abuse as adults.
A few years ago, I was in a dangerous toxic “Christian” marriage and couldn’t take it anymore!
After months of agonizing over whether to stay or leave, I finally made a plan of escape. I loaded up my three little girls, three cats, a pet chicken, and every possession I could discreetly pack into my car. We drove across the country to what I hoped and prayed would be a better life. I was very frightened, but believed that if I stayed, I would possibly be dead by my husband’s hands within a year. My close circle of confidants feared daily I would be the victim of a fatal “accident” by my husband on our small isolated farm. I had even started mentally composing a letter to leave behind to be found in the event I was murdered.
If you are reading this, it is likely that you or someone you care about is in a painful, and perhaps dangerous intimate relationship.
To make things even more confusing, the abuser may consider himself religious, and justify his behavior with religious text and teachings. Deeply ingrained faulty religious beliefs compound a victim’s ability to get away from an abuser.
This is a direct insult to the Bible, to Christianity and to God.
A woman should never fear going to hell for refusing to be submissive in a dangerous relationship.
It was the number one thing I struggled with – I was more afraid of disappointing God than I was of being murdered.
The one thing that finally overrode that fear, was the frightening realization one fateful day of what would happen to my children if I wasn’t there to protect them.
It was after I left, that God was able to help me see the truth about him, and that he had never wanted me to stay in that dangerous situation. I had stayed far longer than I ever needed to. Thankfully, I did find the courage to leave when I did, and God helped us through many difficult days ahead as we rebuilt our lives.
If you consider yourself a Christian, and your spiritual beliefs combined with wedding vows makes you feel there is no hope – I’m here to show you that there absolutely is!
God does not condone abuse. You don’t have to feel spiritually conflicted when facing the decision to stay or leave.
If you have powered through prayer and remained in an abusive relationship because you believe the Bible says it should be so, then I implore you to learn the TRUTH about what the Bible says about love, marriage and submission. Find the answers you need and enjoy the abundant life that God meant for you to have.
This book will give you hope in the midst of despair, clarity in the fog of confusion, and inspiration to step out courageously and live the joyful and fulfilling life God meant for you to have.
I will help you along the way, and there will be others to come alongside you also. God did not intend for you to walk this path alone. He has led you here to help you get the answers you need, and find the peace that you crave. Don’t give up!